Saturday, April 18, 2009

Helpful Tips for Mafia Criminal Defense Lawyers

Weekend Humor from the Nutmeg Lawyer Top Ten Tips for Lawyers Who Defend Mafia Members
  1. When entering your office remember: Curtains Do Not Wear Shoes
  2. If you have a client named Fraido, never go fishing with him
  3. If you are offered the gift of a Colombian Necktie or Cement Shoes, politely decline.
  4. If you own a horse, don’t buy expensive sheets or pajamas
  5. If someone kisses you, it may not necessarily be a sign of affection.
  6. Have your legal interns or first year associates start your car each morning.
  7. When going to the mattresses, try a Serta sleeper
  8. Familiarize yourself with the 5th Amendment
  9. Get E-Z Pass for toll booths so you don’t end up like Sonny
  10. In order to demonstrate toughness, it's good idea to end every sentence with “and so I whacked him”
Top ten signs you are getting laid off at your firm
  1. Everyone keeps asking you if you need more cardboard boxes
  2. Your desk has been replaced with a foose ball table
  3. Your office is now being used to store the law firm’s softball gear.Your number is missing
  4. Donald Trump has been seen in your building.
  5. You are not married to your boss’s daughter
  6. The Senior Partner knows your actual name and no longer calls you “Jim” or “Chief”
  7. Co-workers now make you pay in advance before you go to lunch.
  8. You moved from complex trial work to “special” projects like defending parking tickets, feeding the 90 year old name partner soup and making sure everyone has enough paperclips.
  9. Your nameplate has been removed from your door for “cleaning”
  10. Your parking space is now being used for the senior partner’s boat.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love number 1. Curtains don't have shoes