Monday, August 17, 2009

A Fishy Tale

The One That Got Away If you do criminal defense work, you probably run into an occasional "what were they thinking" client. For me, these are the clients that inject a little humor into daily law practice. I had one of these clients recently when a well dressed gentleman walked into my office complaining about the boys in blue. Why do they waste time arresting good honest citizens? This isn't Russia, this is America. They should be out there arresting the "real criminals." I sighed to myself as soon as I heard the "this isn't Russia comment." I've heard it countless times before. "So what happened? Police brutality? Were you falsely accused of killing your wife even though the evidence showed that the one armed man did it? " His crime was somewhat less prolific. My well dressed client was accused of stealing a fish. A salmon in particular. The entire salmon was laying on some ice on display at a local fish market. His cunning plan was worthy of Baldrick. (If you've never watched the Black Adder series I encourage you to check it out on youtube). The cunning deception centered on two key elements. The first part was to shove the wet salmon down his pants. The second, and this is where it gets tricky, was to make a run for it. He never had a chance to make it to his Mercedes. His prize treasure turned out to be his gilled downfall. Now, I don't know if you've even shoved a large fish down your pants, but I can assure you it makes running rather difficult. As the salmon made its way upstream his pants, my client vainly attempted to grab the fish. Unfortunately, he lacked the requisite skill that is found in most North American black bears. The salmon proved to be a worthy opponent. So what's the point of my post. Was it simply to poke fun at a long time client that happened to be an old college friend? To that I say, how dare you accuse me of such a thing and yes. In my defense, my dear friend encouraged me to write about his arrest. He wanted to warn my younger readers about the danger of a life of crime. Thankfully, he was able to avoid poetic justice and was not sent up the river. If you enjoy true crime stories, I encourage you visit the Thin Blue Blog. The stories are based on some of the more humorous arrests that are found on the Seattle police crime blotter.

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