Friday, December 24, 2010

Twas the Day Before Christmas And All Through the Court...

Twas the day before Christmas and all through the court,
not a marshal was stirring, not even old Mort.

Would the jury be hung?, I hoped with a dare
Cause I don't think this judge is gonna be fair.

All rise said the bailiff, take that hat off your head
Shut off your cell phone or use vibrate instead.

The Judge marched right out and we rose to our feet
He was the biggest Grinch you ever did meet.

In Spanish and English they read us our rights,
 Joe Elf's the first case, I have in my sights.

I walked passed the judge and made such a clatter
Judge, I had yelled, "there was no assault nor batter"

He ran over a grandma, that just isn't right
Baliff take the prisoner away, right now from my sight

He drove that sleigh with all disregard
The time he will serve is gonna be hard.

I pleaded and begged, the judge offered a cap .
My client would go away for a 20 year nap

You can argue for less if you really do dare.
Serving 5 years or 20, I really don't care.

Away to the window my client flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and made a mad dash
He ran through the breast of the new-fallen snow,
You won't take me alive says I, the elf Joe.

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a souped up red sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a jolly old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called him by name:
Hurry up Joe, let's get out of here,
You ran over that woman with my eight tiny reindeer.

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the court, to the top of the wall!
Now, dash away, dash away, move it let's haul

The old man laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
He was now a felon just like Machine Gun Kelly.

I sat on the curb, and watched him pull out of sight.
What about my bill, you'll still pay me right?

Don't forget.  Not only is it a few more shopping days to Christmas, you only have until December 30th to vote for the Nutmeg Lawyer and your favorite legal blogs. There are four legal blogs representing Connecticut this year. The Nutmeg Lawyer is in the IMHO category. Of course, for every person who doesn't vote, Santa will take a beloved toy away from a small child.  You don't want that on your conscience?  Well, do you?


Ryan McKeen said...

Well done Adrian. I have roughly 100 draft posts on my site that have never seen the light of day. About 90 of them are attempts to right a law related Christmas Carol. Good show.

Adrian M. Baron said...

On further review, this one should have stayed a draft. I had a little too much free time waiting for the judge to call my case