Friday, April 29, 2011

The Nutmeg Lawyer's Exclusive Coverage of the Royal Wedding.

Yes, I know that today there is a royal wedding in Merry Old England. The marriage of His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Master of Arts to that commoner.  I mean really? A commoner? I say poppycock.  (I assume that's what they say in Britain). I know that I am expected to write a review of the nuptials.  After all, the Nutmeg Lawyer is the nation's leading legal blog among English muffin aficionados who collect commemorative plates.  Nevertheless, I shan't be covering the wedding.

It irks me.  Today is also my birthday. Why should they get all the attention?  Why else did we have all that fuss back in 1776.  While they are riding around in fancy carriages, I spent the occasion stuck in court taking care of a few pro bono speeding tickets for relatives. (Editor's note: Come on, it's my birthday is not a valid legal argument)   Not only is it my birthday, it is also my wedding anniversary.  That William character even took my idea of having a horse drawn carriage. 

Now that I am a year older.  I am a year wiser.  I will take the occasion of the royal nuptials and my birthday to share 5 learned tips of wisdom.  I offer these to any younger attorneys that may just be starting out.

1.  If you are driving near a court house, do not "flip" someone off.  You never know if that old guy who cut you off in the Mercedes is a judge or a prosecutor.  Let it go.

2.  Always be polite to court marshals and staff.  These are the people that have the ears of judges.  They control the calendars.  They control whether or not you go through the metal detector quickly or whether you will be subjected to a friskier Terry frisk.

3.  Don't sell yourself short.  It's OK to lower your fee.  Just remember that your time is valuable.  In my own practice, I've noticed that charging too little often makes the client think your services might be substandard.   Heck, if you were getting eye surgery would you go for the guy with the $19.95 special?

4.   Always make sure that your cell phone is off before appearing in front of the bench.  You're going to going to come off pretty goofy if your Lady Gaga ringtone goes off during your opening statements.

5.  Make time for your family and yourself.  

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