Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Practical Bar Exam Tips from the Nutmeg Lawyer

As a duly admitted member of the Connecticut Bar, I know what it's like to take the bar exam.  As the most widely read legal blog in the nation by law students who have taken the bar exam at least nine times, it is my duty to provide my legal expertise.  As such, I offer these words of advice.  Think of me as Socrates as I lead you through my fruited garden of knowledge.

As demonstrated by Conan 
Make Sure to Wear Comfortable Clothes:  
You may have seen some movies where bar exam takers are dressed up in suits and ties.  Forget it.  The days of prim and proper are over.  I recommend wearing jeggings.  If you are not familiar with this product, jeggings are nylon leggings that are made to look like denim jeans.  You will be relaxed and comfortable while projecting a professional image of sophistication.  Your look will surely intimidate those around you. It can be the extra edge you need to score higher on the exam. 

Get Yourself a "Yellin' Jar" :  
Chances are you will have lots of pent up emotion. You will need to let some of it out. Studying in the library presents a problem.  You need to be quiet.  I may have the solution for you. Clean out a standard pickle or Hellman's mayonaise jar.  Make sure it's glass.   Whenever you feel stress, yell into your jar at the top of your lungs.  You will feel better.  You can even decorate it with glitter, fur or an assortment of skull & bones graphics.  If you decide to decorate your jar with a skull & bones, make sure you do not store it with any similarly marked jars of poison.  

Practice Using a Pencil:  
Chances are you may have never used a wooden pencil.  Before i Pads, twitter, texting and touch screen tablets, students used crude writing implements called pencils.  Made out of wood, students would have to grind pencils down in devices known as pencil sharpeners.  Often yellow in color and marked with a number 2, each pencil was outfitted with an eraser.  This device was used much like the delete button on your laptop.   Imagine writing with a chopstick from your favorite sushi restaurant.  That's kinda like a pencil.   Last time I checked, they were still in use for the bar exam.

Visit your local court house.  
Take a walk around your local court house. Watch some local lawyers in action.  This should inspire you.  You will learn that our ranks are filled with competent orators as well as inept idiots. You may also want to watch a few commercials for area attorneys. If they can pass the bar exam, so can you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A "Yellin' Jar" LOL Love it.