Thursday, August 19, 2010

Golfer Arrested After Failing to Make Par with Saab

Photo Courtesy of Top Stone Golf and Sand Strap at 8th Hole
As I progress in my distinguished legal career, I notice I have become a tad cynical when listening to certain clients.  I find this true especially when dealing with some of my criminal defense and divorce clients.  You may have experienced this yourself.  Often your instincts tell you that the story you are getting from across your desk may not be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  The client may be embarrassed to give you an unedited version.  He may be delusional.  Maybe the guy's just a big liar.

It's like pulling teeth.  Your client emphatically tells you they didn't do it.  You tell them that the evidence includes videotape and witnesses.  The client suddenly regains his memory.  Police officers must hear these stories all the time from panicked pseudo criminals.  I only had two beers, I accidently placed the watch in my purse, I did not have sex with that woman, but I digress.......    Here in the Nutmeg state we had a doozie yesterday.  (Yes, I said doozie.  Sometimes I enjoy speaking like your great grandmother.)  
Artist Rendering of Mr. Diulio
The Hartford Courant reports that 20 year old Matthew F. Diulio reported his black Saab was stolen yesterday morning to police.  Luckily, South Windsor's finest found his car earlier that day.  Upside down.  In a sand trap. On the 8th hole of the Topstone golf course.  If you're a lawyer worth your weight in paper clips, you probably can guess the truth  behind the stolen car story.  No, it wasn't a band of maruading Scottish groundskeepers that stole Matthew's car.  It wasn't a gang of Evel Kenieval enthusiasts. Mr. Diulo eventually fessed up.

According to the Courant, Matthew's shenanigans occurred on the golf course at about 2 AM in the morning.  The daredevil and a friend apparently drove his SAAB onto the golf course up a steep hill, then behind the first green and onto the eighth green.  He then decided to spin out several times causing a reported $10,000 in damage.  Not surprisingly, the police arrested him for making a false report.  I am sure more charges will follow including a two stroke penalty for illegal use of a Swedish automobile.  I can only wonder what was Diulo thinking.  You don't use a SAAB to hit out of a sand trap.  Next time use a Buick.  Diulio was released without having to post bail and is due in court Aug. 26.


Anonymous said...

Don't forget one stroke penalty for grounding his Saab in the trap.

Robert (Boosh) Idzi said...

And his dad just got him a new car, kids from South Windsor have it all. I grew up knowing Matt, he said that the world record people contacted him saying that they want him in the 2011 book for being the first person to ever flip a car in a sand trap!

Equus Spirit said...

Plus-it is common knowledge that SAAB is Swedish for "ugly car", anyway!

electric golf buggy said...

This is almost a comical turn of events. Imagine seeing a sedan turned upside down in a golf course. It was not made for being a golf buggy.