Tips for Mob Lawyers

A Little Humor to End Your Work Week:  If you practice criminal law, you might run across a track suit wearing wise guy here and there. Truth be told, these tough guys are not so different from you and me. Like the mafia, we have this thing of ours. To join, one must get sworn in and pledge to never reveal secrets. While they have capos, we have senior partners. They have families we have local bar associations.  We share a fondness for suits.  We both take out contracts. When it comes to negotiating, we often make offers others simply can't refuse. Worried about taking on a mob guy as a client?  Fughedaboutit!  Here are 10 helpful tips from the Nutmeg Consigliore to help you with the process:

Top Ten Tips for Lawyers Who Defend Mob Guys

1.   When entering your office remember:  Curtains Don't Wear Shoes

2.   If you have a client named Fraido, never go fishing with him

3.    If you are offered the gift of a Colombian Necktie or Cement Shoes, politely decline.

4.    If you own a horse, don’t buy expensive sheets or pajamas

5.    If someone kisses you, it may not necessarily be a sign of affection.

6.    Make it a habit of having your legal interns or first year associates start your car each morning.

7.   When going to the mattresses, try a Serta sleeper

8.    Familiarize yourself with the 5th Amendment

9.     Get E-Z Pass for toll booths so you don’t end up like Sonny Correleone

10.   They haven't paid your fee?  Ask for it on the day of their daughter's wedding.