The Rapture is Coming. Will Lawyers Be Invited?

Is This My Last Post? Well, this may or may not be my last post.  I am told that the world is ending tomorrow. In Genesis 7:4, God tells Noah "Seven days from now I will send rain on earth for forty days and forty nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made." So the theory is when God referred to seven days, he meant seven thousand years.  A day is a thousand years to God.  Since the big flood occurred in 4990 BC, that brings us to 2011.  So why May 21, 2011.  Break out your pencils kiddos.  That goes to the significance of the number of days between the Crucifixion  and May 21, 2011.  That would be 722,500 days.  That number represents 5x10x17x5x10x17.  Got it? The 5 signifies redemption. 10 signifies completion and 17 signifies heaven.  Or so I'm told.  There has also been some grumblings from the Mayans and others in touch with the fate of the universe.


As such, I refuse to buy more milk until the expiration date. What's the point?  I didn't even shave or wear pants when I went to court today.  I told my client that he should accept the prosecutor's offer of life in jail.  The jokes on them.  Suckers. 


I encourage my readers to prepare for Armageddon.   Most of you are lawyers, so undoubtedly we will not take part in the rapture.  Luckily, Glenn Beck is sponsored by a slew of advertisers who will help you prepare for the end of days including $150 super seeds for a crisis garden and a nice food survival kit backpack.  I hear the beef stroganoff is to die for.  Err...poor choice of words.  I also encourage you to tell your boss what you think of him or her.  In the event we survive the weekend, we will resume regular posting on Monday.


Editors note: if you know what time the world will end, please let me know.  I need to schedule a haircut